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An Ass Is Not a Jewelry Box!

ass play, anal play safety, assThis post is particularly for those who are curious about or already enjoy ass play. Although it is not about ass play per se, let it call your attention to the great importance and seriousness of anal play safety.

If All Else Fails, Hide the Ill-Gotten Booty In YOUR Booty?!?!

My, What an Odd Walk You Have…

On June 17, police in Konya, Turkey, were summoned to the scene of a burglary, during which some jewelry was among the stolen items. Apparently, during their investigation, the police were tipped off to a potential suspect, when they noticed a man on the scene (for reasons not reported) was walking in a fashion that the cops deemed to be “peculiar”.

(I am guessing he may have been walking a bit delicately, as if something were lodged in his ass… What’s wrong? Is your dildo in sideways? [Cue laughter.])

After noticing his little on-site “perp walk,” the police decided to escort the suspicious man on a date with an x-ray machine. (Precisely how he was walking and why it moved the police to whisk him away for an examination was not noted.)

Giving New Meaning to “Anal Beads

Upon viewing his films, the technician who took the x-rays found a lovely collection of jewels, hidden in the man’s tookus. In his anal jewelry box, the thief was holding two gold rings, four gold ear rings, and two gold necklaces for safe-keeping.

I am supposing he had such a close call during his burgling that he decided to hide the jewelry in the closest place possible!

So That’s Where Mom’s Necklace Went!

As if that is not odd enough, would you believe that the tech who discovered the backside treasure trove was a member of the family from whom said jewels were stolen?! That is no joke!!

After conducting a recovery mission, as it were, in which the jewelry was reclaimed, the pieces were cleaned and then given to the police.

Per Haberturk.com, the ass bandit was fingered for two additional break-ins that had occurred in the same neighborhood.

A Word to the Wise…

Anal Play Safety Is No Joke!

Let this be a lesson that your ass is NOT meant to be used as a hiding place for stolen property!

And on a serious note, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER put ANY objects with sharp, jagged, rough, pointed or blunt edges in your backside. That is a recipe for disaster in the way of a rectal laceration or perforation, which are very serious and come with a lengthy recovery period. It may also bring an abrupt end to your anal masturbation.

Always be wise and use good judgment when you’re indulging in any kind of anal play, whether you’re alone or with a partner, using a dildo, vibrator, butt plug or anything else. Remember, anal play safety first!!

(Details of the crime came from the DailySabah.com and Haberturk.com as reported by David Moye for the Huffington Post online at huffpost.com.)

Thanks to my fellow anal play fan, the wild and wonderful Ms. Daphne, for inviting me to share with you here. How I do love sharing SO many things with her!

And… If you think you can handle double the trouble, Ms. Daphne and I would be thrilled to tag-team YOUR hungry hole and show you our own version of DP!! Your ass would never be the same…

ass, ass play, anal play safety

800-601-6975
www.fetishphonesexcalls.com

Sissy Shares Her Strategy for Stealth

security

I began writing this post before June 12, 2016 when the Pulse shooting in Orlando occurred. I am hyper-aware of the apprehension… worries… even terror… several of you have already expressed to me… with thoughts of something similar happening while you are out-of-town dressed to the nines. I could not possibly discuss this distress in this . . . → Read More: Sissy Shares Her Strategy for Stealth

Sissy Maid for Mistress (Guest Post: Mistress Christine!)

Mistress Christine

You’ll Need A Sissy Maid’s Outfit

You love your new outfit, don’t you?

Every sissy should work on her service skills of course, but she should also have her look down pat. So for today’s assignment, I’m going to transform you into a sissy maid.  You are to purchase a maid . . . → Read More: Sissy Maid for Mistress (Guest Post: Mistress Christine!)

Update on My Cherry Cuckold Couple

Cuckold Trio

I wrote about a couple I helped initiate into the world of cuckolding in Cuckold Couple Pops Their Cherry, a story told in three parts.

I’d befriended them at a Sex Party and helped pick out a luscious Big Black Cock (BBC) Bull for them to lose their vanilla marriage virginity with. It was an awesome . . . → Read More: Update on My Cherry Cuckold Couple

Mistress Cocktease Lets You Not Cum

Mistress Cocktease Lets You Not Cum

I want to thank Ms. Daphne for having me guestpost on her blog. She does know what a true cocktease I am!

Back In The Cockteasing Mood

Now that we finished off with Masturbation May, and are back to denial or delay and LOTS of teasing, I am . . . → Read More: Mistress Cocktease Lets You Not Cum

My Anniversary Give-Away!

On June 1, 2015, I started working here at LDW. I started working “the phones” a mere 6-weeks before that. Am I ever thankful I found LDW!! Mistress Ally and all the Mistresses, Dispatchers, Office folks… everyone has been nothing less than amazing this entire year.

And you clients! How could I even . . . → Read More: My Anniversary Give-Away!

Caring About My Submissives (Guest Post from Miss Violet!)

Miss Violet Cares About Her Submissives 800-601-6975

Forget Stereotypes

A Mistress is often portrayed as an evil, uncaring bitch, dressed all in black, wielding a whip like Indiana Jones on a rampage. That kind of Mistress is out there, but there are other types you need to be aware of. You may have . . . → Read More: Caring About My Submissives (Guest Post from Miss Violet!)

Mistress Daphne’s Audios -updated 5/26/16

I’ve added a couple of Audios to my Audio Page.

So, put your headphones on and listen in!

 

 

Masturbation & Guilt

everyonemasturbates

When I was about 18-years old, I became a Born-Again Christian. I’d already been going to the gay bars for a couple of years, lived with 8 gay men, been indoctrinated at the Glory Holes and had had sex with many men, both gay and straight. I had also slept with a couple of women . . . → Read More: Masturbation & Guilt

Humping Inanimate Objects

washingmachine2

You know exactly what I am talking about, don’t you. You might even be turning red thinking I am going to disclose your deepest secret. Well, what kind of a Sadistic Bitch would I be if I didn’t exploit your embarrassment for my pleasure?

Humping Inanimate Objects – for My Amusement

A submissive sissy-friend . . . → Read More: Humping Inanimate Objects