Many people ask me how to hide their identity from people who might judge who they are or what they do. I am asked to explain in detail how to keep their sexual identities and proclivities private and hidden. Folks might want to hide their identities because of their kinks, fetishes, calling phone sex operators, doing cam calls, participating in forums, or any number of activities they want to keep private from those around them.

I’m here to help you keep your sexual identity private from prying eyes.


Beginning to Hide Your Sexual Identity

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The first and possibly the most important thing to do is get a VPN on your computer and phone. A VPN is a Virtual Private Network and hides your location. One login, you might be in Switzerland and another, in Montreal.

Whether you are searching on the Net or talking to people in forums, all of them can find where you live with two clicks of the mouse. I balked at a VPN thinking people were being paranoid… until someone showed me they could find a random address I gave them with two clicks. And it does not take a geek to figure it out; I am the least geeky person and all I had to do was look it up and learned how to find someone’s location the same way. 


Getting a VPN is relatively inexpensive and is a normal way to protect your family, so it won’t cause suspicion when you put one on the computers or your phone. Typically, when you buy one, they will give you “keys” so you can put one on multiple devices. Buying a VPN is as easy as going to everyone’s favorite home delivery site.


Now Hide Your Email Address

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The second thing you do is get an anonymous, unrecognizable email address. Changing your name to something different, but still using GMail or Outlook, is asking for privacy breaches. Worse still is using your regular account with your real name. Don’t do that!

Instead, research “Free Private Email to Protect Identity” or some variation thereof. Many different places exist where your information is kept out of the US or EUR and kept private from prying eyes and searching fingers.

Having a hidden email means if something happens to you, no one can access this email without your expressly giving them the password.


A Note About Passwords When Hiding Your Sexual Identity 

Get yourself a Password Manager. This can create kick-ass passwords for you and you just need to memorize one hard password to get into it or use it. It remembers your passwords for you with your one difficult password and will auto-populate the password you are trying to use for another site.

When you create a password, make it tough with letters, numbers, and symbols so people cannot guess it. Keep them in your password keeper so no one can get to them but you. Easy passwords are the most common way someone can check up on your private dealings on the Internet. Protect yourself!


When Your Dick Spends $$, Use Pre-Paid Cards

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Whether you are buying porn magazines (do they make those anymore?), porn online, a phone sex call, a cam session, paying a dancer at a club, seeing a Dominatrix, getting a hotel room for sex, buying a date dinner, toys at an adult bookstore, or anything that affects your cock, PLEASE USE PRE-PAID CARDS! You can get them anywhere. Almost any store… convenience, grocery, or department… has them for sale. And when buying the pre-paid card, use cash if you can. Get money out of the ATM and use cash for buying the pre-paid cards. Do not use your own credit cards for them unless it is near a holiday or birthday because that is suspicious on your credit card statement, too.


Covering Your Phone & Computer Tracks

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It’s crucial to erase the history on your phone and your computer after every search or session. If you don’t know how, search how to do it and do it!

Before you walk into the house, even if you think you haven’t done anything you could be caught for, erase your phone’s history. Make it a habit, whether you have called anyone or not, to get rid of pictures or sites you might have viewed during the day or night. You want to do everything you can to hide your sexual identity!

Do the same with the computer. I can’t tell you how many folks are caught being sissies or wanna-be cocksuckers by leaving their histories, or even the sites themselves, on the computer because they had to get up quickly to do something else and forgot they left it up on the screen.

If you have a suspicious significant other, they can find what you have been looking at through your history.


It needs to be a habit so you never forget. Wear a rubber band around your wrist if you have to remind yourself until it is an automatic habit for you.

Remove GPS Tracking/Tracing Devices

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We live in a suspicious world. People put tracers and GPS tracking devices on phones and cars all the time without telling you they did it. If you have a significant other who suspects you are having an affair, they can put a tracking device on your car and follow where you go, meeting you at your new girlfriend’s door in the middle of your fuck session. 

Learn how to detect these devices and remove them to hide your sexual identity.

I have heard, “Now you’re being paranoid. My partner would never do anything like that.” Then six months later, they call and say they are now in court getting a divorce because they were caught sucking dick at the local motel. Sometimes, being paranoid pays off. If you want no one to find out your secrets, then you need to make sure all avenues are cut off from them.


Don’t Overlook Cameras in Houses

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Did you know people can buy hidden cameras in toys? In plants? In light switches? In cabinet knobs? 

If you have someone determined to catch you dressing up or bringing someone home, you might find yourself on the big screen TV one night when you come home from work after being watched by your wife and her friends. 

DO NOT DO YOUR KINK OR FETISH AT HOME unless your partner knows about it and approves. Learning how to hide your sexual identity is crucial for many people if you want to keep your relationship safe.

You can get an infrared device to look around and see if there are hidden cameras, but technology changes fast and today’s ability to find a camera will be tomorrow’s lesson in how not to find a camera.

Another caution about cameras in homes. It is a common thing for folks to find an object when visiting someone else’s house (panties are the most common item) and then masturbate with/in them in the bathroom. As unethical as it might be, people do have cameras in their bathrooms. Things you may have been able to do a couple of decades ago simply cannot be done anymore. This goes for Model Homes, in restaurants, bed and breakfast lodging, and anywhere people do things privately.

Hotels are the safest place to explore your fetish or kink.


Final Thoughts About Your Fetishes & Kinks

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No Kink Shaming!

What’s challenging about all of this is it might make you feel like you are abnormal and socially deviant. I am here to tell you IT IS NOT YOU that has the problem; it is our fucked up society that doesn’t openly talk about each others’ kinks and fetishes.

I promise you, because I have talked to them, priests, ministers, government officials, your next door neighbor, your waiter, your co-worker… all of them participate in something our society labels as wrong. 


I’m sorry your wife had such a hard time with it. I’m sorry your girlfriend left you because you wear panties. Most partners struggle with sexual differences. But I want you to know you are perfectly normal. Really, really. There are TONS of guys, many you know around you, who do the exact same thing.

I am sure I have not covered everything. If I missed something glaring about how to hide your sexual identity, please let us all know in the comments section. I hope this helps.


Keep Yourself Safe!