Am I Transgender?
As a Mistress, I get asked this at least a couple of times a week, so I thought I would address it here. If you are asking this question, I am sure you have Googled it already, so have read what others, including the professionals, have to say. I will share my experiences with transgender folks and hopefully help you work through things if you are asking, “Am I transgender?”
My Own Transgender History
My former partner and I were in a lesbian relationship for over 20 years before she (he) came out transgender FtM (female to male). I was a part of the transition process for 3+ years, from starting hormones to getting a penis, before we ended the partnership part of our relationship. (We remain the loves of each others’ lives, best of friends and confidantes even though we live 3000 miles away.) I no longer think of him as a she and even when telling stories of our youth, I use male pronouns.
When I was with my former partner, I met dozens of FtM and MtF (Male to Female) transfolks from the entire trans spectrum. Some were on hormones, others didn’t want to use hormones but had their breasts enlarged. Still others who considered themselves trans never intend to take hormones or alter their bodies in any way.
Important Note: The transgender person gets to name themselves: Cross Dresser, Sissy, Transexual, “Tranny”, “Shemale”, Transwoman, Transman, Transgender, etc. It is also important to know that “Tranny” and “Shemale” are incredibly offensive in regular discussions and are typically used only in porn and sex work for the titillation of men. When you talk to me on the phone, I often use the term T-Girl… a gentle, kind and respectful moniker to use for transwomen until they name themselves for me.
Really, really, you do not have to be on any specific road medically or surgically to consider yourself trans. Being trans is in your brain… do you FEEL like you are a gender that isn’t between your legs… that is the real question that needs to be answered.
When you dream, are you the gender opposite of what your sex is? When you fantasize, are you a woman (if your genitals read man)? Do you envy the opposite gender? Wishing you could do the things s/he is able to do? Do you sneak bits of the other gender into your life? Wearing panties? Sitting down to pee? Shaving? Of course, not everyone that does these things is the opposite gender, but the more you answer “yes” to these questions, the more you might consider if you really are transgender or not.
And I have not even begun the discussion of the variety of genders that are not just male and female.
The question, “Am I transgender?” requires much more than one small blog post to answer, but I wanted to write this one as a jumping off place, somewhere for us to start the conversation. I welcome the discussion and look forward to seeing where we can go from here.
And of course, no matter WHO you are… you are a human being who deserves love and respect. I honor you.
Transgender Mistress Daphne 1-800-601-6975