In Masturbation Woobies (Part 1), I begin the discourse by letting you guys & gals who use something in order to masturbate know you are perfectly normal. In Masturbation Woobies (Part  2), questions about disclosing your needs abound. Many are addressed, but this piece talks about the down and dirty airing of your secret with a lover.

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I end Part 2 by saying, in part:

“…you are right. It is a step off the high dive to expose your need to your partner. But, you are not the only one that does!

So do they!

“We all have secret behaviors.


Weighing the Tell

As a relationship begins, disclosure of these secret behaviors is scary as fuck, but these are the risks of loving another person. I know, as you’re going through your list of secret-things-you-will-never-tell-another-soul in your head, you are really putting them on a scale, figuring out, if,  for an amazing possible-lover, you would tell.

On one side of the scale is:

  • Are they going to laugh (not in an “isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?!” way, but in a mean way)? Leave? Tell others?

The other side of the scale looks like:

  • If they do laugh, I have endless options, but the 3 obvious ones are: I will promise not to do it again/hide it from them/end the relationship.
  • If they leave, they don’t deserve my confidence or love anyway. (This might need some good therapy to believe, but it is freakin’ true!)
  • If they tell others is the least in your control. Know your partner before you choose to tell him/her/them! If the person is a gossip, they are not the right one to tell, know that from the outset. And if they do tell, so what if they snicker behind your back. It is unlikely they would ever say anything to you. Besides, their partners might be doing the exact same thing you are!

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The Final Choice…

…belongs to you.

I know, that was not what you wanted to hear. All of this was written not to answer the question of whether you should tell others or not, but to let you know you are perfectly normal in wanting/needing to use something to excite you. I do so hope you hear that. I’ll say it again for emphasis.

You are perfectly normal.

What’s nice about talking to us Mistresses is we can role play with you how to talk to someone about your woobie-needs. We can go over the options with you, letting you hear, out loud, how your discussion might go down with your partner.

Much good luck to you wonderful woobie boys and girls!

long fuzzy pillow