Yes, I am a Female Dominant. I am a Femdom Mistress. I take control over our sessions. I’m the one who wrests control when you try to Top from the bottom. But did you know I was once a lifestyle submissive? I know Dominance and submission from both sides.
And this is a distinct benefit to you.
Dominance and Submission: The Balance of Wills
When it comes to the dance between a Dominant and a submissive, one might believe the Domme leads the way, but in fact, one cannot be graceful in the dungeon without the other. Each partner has a role and if they are played correctly, the performance is one of beauty and deliciousness.
I was a lifestyle submissive for a couple of decades. I was Owned by a wonderfully Dominant person and was treated with a great deal of love and caring. Being a pain slut, I also experienced my share of fantastic pain at their hands. I have been slapped on the bottom by a hand and paddles, have been flogged to bruising, have been caned to searing welts, have been snapped with a single tail whip, tied to… and with… everything imaginable, and had all sorts of goodies inserted into my skin and orifices.
As the submissive, I also Served my Dominant. Even though I worked full+ time, I was responsible for the puppies, the cooking, the cleaning, taking care of the vehicles and their upkeep, shopping, laundry, and many other things that pop up in day to day life.
But, Where’s The Balance?
I can hear you even from this far away.
“What did your Dominant do? Did they just sit on their ass and direct you like a conductor?”
Not at all. They made sure I had everything I needed, much of it monetarily. My gym memberships were paid. My bills were paid, including the car and home we lived in.
Does this sound like a 1950’s marriage except with my being a working woman? In some ways it was, but it worked for us. You, dear reader, get to do what works for you.
Becoming a Dominant Mistress
When that relationship ended and I was released from my bondage, I vowed to never submit again. It took awhile, but when I found my footing, I realized I had transformed into a Female Dominant… a Femdom Mistress. It was the best thing I had ever done in my life and I slid into the the role quickly and easily.
I loved the Power. It was a wonderful, heady feeling, to be in control of another person’s actions or even their orgasms. What I did not expect, however, was how having been a submissive would give me much more than the proverbial upper hand in this Dominant and submissive “relationship.” And it is a relationship, even if only for a ten minute call.
Short Note: While I will not submit again, I do bottom. Dominance and submission are more cerebral than Topping and bottoming. Those tend to be more physical. Of course, the lines do criss cross, like so much shibari, but those are the general definitions.
I Know Your Inner Thoughts and Desires
One of the parts I love best is that having once been a sub, I can tap into how your mind works. Then I am able to stay two, no… three… steps ahead of you when you and I are in a Scene. You submissives, boys or sissies, sometimes like to see if you can pull one over on us Mistresses. You think we aren’t really paying attention to you, the submissive in our phone sex call, but even Mistresses who have not been submissives are highly aware of what is transpiring.
But I think I have an advantage of having been there, done that. I would never ask you to do something 1) that you don’t have on your okay-I-will list or 2) that I wouldn’t do myself as a submissive/bottom.
Our D/s Sessions
When we spend time together, me as your Mistress and you as my sub, we will create magic with each other! Our phone sex time will be different than anything you’ve had before. I know, because I have been told (read my reviews!). I can’t wait to paddle your bottom or cuff your hands… or even sound that penis.
Ah, there is so much we still have to do!
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