Have you ever experienced a time when pain felt good? Have you ever wondered why pain feels good sometimes and not others? 

As a Painslut, I Know Good Pain Well

I am a painslut. Pain and I go way back. It delights me to be flogged, caned, and spanked. I adore having my nipples smooshed with clothespins and nipple clamps. I’ve done all sorts of things that can be done to skin and flesh (which can be, and are, different).

The most painful implement used on me, that made me scream (not yell, but scream) “RED! FUCKING RED! RED! RED!” was the sjambok… a South African “crowd control” implement made of leather or thick, hard rubber and is 3 feet long. It sure as fuck controlled me.

Note: Red, Yellow, and Green are the standard BDSM safewords used to check in with a submissive/bottom having pain or humiliation foisted upon them. Either person, Dominant or submissive, Top or bottom, can call a safeword at any time and there should never be repercussions for calling a safeword. More on safewords in a future post.

Other limitations for me where no sting-y floggers. While I can handle the sting of a cane beautifully, the sting of tiny strands of a flogger do me in quickly. I like thick and thuddy floggers. They leave lovely marks. So do canes, but those are different. 

See? Even a painslut has her limitations. If you appreciate and ask for pain, keep aware that there might be times when your tolerance is lower and you might need to call a Yellow here and there. That is perfectly cool! Don’t ever let anyone say, “But, I thought you were a painslut.” If someone says that to you, end the session immediately. Clearly, they do not understand pain play.

BDSM and Why Pain Feels Good

There is a phenomenon that occurs when two people are having what is often called a Power Exchange. When Dominants and submissives dance with each other in the dungeon or the bedroom (or wherever), each offers the other their trust and sometimes even admiration. Even if you are not romantically involved with the person, there really is a transference of Energy between the two (or more of you) playing out a Scene together.

When this Power Exchange is occurring, the endorphins for all parties are flying. Pheromones are zipping around the area. The feel-great hormones are coursing through your bodies. 

While the Dominant is getting off on giving the pain, the partner receiving is getting off in a different way.

Dominance and submission: Why Pain Feels Good Mistress Daphne (800) 601-6975

Offering Your Pain to Your Dom/Domme/Dominant/Top

I need to mention that most people who play with pain are not painsluts like me. They are people who are into pleasing their Femdom Mistresses, their Tops, the people wielding the implements. The submissive/bottom is more into giving and offering their pain as an homage to the respect for the Dominant. 

This emotional giving brings the pain to a different level, not as anything punitive (unless it is, and even then you are allowed your safewords), but as a physical symbol of the care and appreciation of the bottom. The implement is the Top’s arms, hugging the bottom gently/painfully, but filled with respect and admiration.

Why Pain Feels So Good: A Recap

I hope you now have an idea of why pain feels good… the interplay between the physical, the emotional, the mental, and even for some, the spiritual. The Domme/Top and the sub/bottom are a unit… neither more important (or less important) than the other.

When you are the one experiencing pain, how does your mind process the experience? Do you recognize any of the things I mention here? If you have other thoughts, I would love to hear them. We all would love to hear them!

In the meantime, enjoy your pain! (And remember your safewords.)

Dominance and submission: Why Pain Feels Good Mistress Daphne (800) 601-6975