I know it is a month away, but Locktober is always a month to prepare for. What ways can you get ready for your month in a cage?

Focus on Your Partner’s Needs

It can always be a precarious discussion when it comes to putting yourself into chastity for a month. Will your partner think it is a great idea, giving them a rest from you between their legs for a month? Or will they be cranky that you are withholding sex (which is how many would see it) because you find them unattractive or unappealing?

If you are putting yourself in chastity for a month, you might be that typical submissive who adores his more Dominant partner, yes? Maybe you’ve even tried to hint, or perhaps overtly asked, her to be your Domme. I have rarely met a Dominant person with dangly bits who put themselves in chastity. It’s usually someone who feels inferior and needs to be punished. Or someone who feels they masturbate too much and needs to have their genitals corralled so they can train the animal more easily. So how do you approach your partner to discuss being in a chastity device for the month of Locktober?

Before you ask to be caged up, think of ways you can treasure and pleasure her during the month. AND NOT FLOWERS unless that is her fave thing on the planet. Then get her her favorite flower, not a pile of random flowers you pick up while getting gas on the way home. Flowers are cliché and many people roll their eyes and suddenly become suspicious when you, out-of-the-blue, show up with flowers. Think of things more creative. An original of her favorite book or one signed by the author. (If you don’t know her favorite book, we have more to discuss than Locktober!) Just one thing to open the discussion. More goodies to come.

Of course, do not go overboard or they might think you are having an affair or bought a new car without asking or consulting in them. Let her know you have an important question to ask and that, to you, it means showing more love to her so she doesn’t think you are dying or something.

Extol the Virtues of Chastity 

Besides the “things” I mention below, one of the most wondrous things you can talk about is the focused attention on them for at least one month. You will not be thinking about your self-pleasure, but her absolute pleasure, and not always in the bedroom.

If she’s worried about her sexual pleasure, reassure her that her pleasure is at the forefront of your mind. You will sexually do whatever she desires (within reason, of course)… using your mouth, your fingers, your love… to shower her with pleasure. Perhaps by her a new vibrator… or her first one ever. Get a high quality one from Lelo or Bellesa.

Tell her is is Valentine’s Day all month long. Shower her with the love you had when you first met.

What You Can Offer Them During Locktober

If your partner seems game for your Locktober CageFest, here are some ways you can treat your abstaining lover.

• Take over their most despised chore. Whether it is the dishes or laundry or the floors, you do those for them for the entire caged experience.
• Read their favorite book and be open for discussing the book with them. 
• Let him pick a movie for date night (hopefully once a week!) and then treat him to a wonderful evening at the movies. Whether it is in a movie theater or at home. Make it an experience with popcorn, his favorite beverage, some theater sized candy. Whatever you know makes him smile.
• Have her make a list of all the things she would love to have in the world. Let her go wild! A trip around the world, going to Paris, a new wedding band, a trip to her birthplace, riding a train. Whatever she chooses, find a way to be creative in giving part of it to her. If it is Paris she wants to see, order her some Parisian bread and cheese, a French wine, a French movie and have a Parisian night at home. Maybe if she wants to travel around Europe on a train, you can take her on a short train trip and show her YouTube videos of the “countries” you are visiting at that moment. Be creative!
• Give her a night off from those boring house duties! If she is always working, give her a couple of days in a hotel alone. If she works constantly, see if you can find a way to make her days easier. Perhaps a lunch with a girlfriend that you choreograph with her friend, you picking up the tab, of course. Maybe a whole spa-day, not just a pedicure.

Use Your Imagination!

Even if you are in a chastity cage in secret, only while they are out of the house, find ways to pleasure your partner more than usual. Just keep telling her nothing is wrong, you are just feeling amorous towards her. Listen to her. BE with her. Rediscover that love you had way at the beginning.

What Do YOU Get Out of It?

You get self-discipline, time to be more organized, have the energy to clean out the garage (finally!). You will have the focus on someone other than yourself.

And isn’t that one of the best side effects of chastity? Giving to others instead of giving to your cock.

Let me know in the comments or on a call how your preparation is going. If you need more guidance, I am here for you.

Good luck!