My sweet sissies!
Your Sissy Training is coming along and you find you need to choose a chick name, your TRUE name, to call yourself… how do you do that?
Choosing a Name
How do you even start? For many, they choose a feminine variation of their given name. Stephen turns into Stephanie, Mark becomes Margaret or Margie. That is certainly one way to do it, but if you want to stretch further, how would you begin your search for your own name, the name YOU choose, not someone else?
It’s great to sit quietly and say the alphabet in your mind or even out loud and see what letter resonates with you in your heart, the first letter of your new name. Does your personality fit with a gentle letter like W or S… or are you loud and full of force needing a harder letter like Q or K?
Keep a notepad with you and take notes of your inner thoughts and discoveries.
Some folks also have a last letter in mind for their new name, too. Do you want it to end in a Z? Perhaps a T? You can jot that down as well.
Perhaps you want to use names that represent your ethnicity or religion, or perhaps a flower name or something in nature. Another piece to your puzzle to write on your list.
Starting with your letters and origins, it’s time to move on to scouring the area for the exact right name for you. Google can be your best friend when looking for that perfect name. I will offer a few ways to search on the Internet, but you can get creative and do it your way.
- “Names that begin with an X”
- “Names that end in an X”
- “Gaelic fairy names”
- “Girls hippie names”
- “Popular names in 1940’s”
You can choose names out of books you love, out of movie stars you admire, family names, the prettiest name you have ever heard. You get to choose whatever you want! Isn’t that freeing?
Announcing Your Name
What about when you have that perfect name? Are you ready for others to know?
When you are not present (on the phone, or online, for example), you will have to ask people to call you by your chosen name. They might make a mistake once or twice… or a hundred times. If you want someone to use your chosen name and they will do so with respect and kindness, ask them kindly to please remember to use <fill in the blank>. I hope you have people in your life that will respect your choices.
In person, if you only want some people to use your new real name, you will be coming out over and over again; it will be a new part of your life.
If, however, you want everyone to call you by your true name, getting a nametag can be a wonderful way to do so. Easy, inexpensive and very effective.
This way, everyone will know… the cashier at the store, the women at Victoria’s Secret and anyone else you want to call you by your girl name. You can wear it as if you are going to (or coming back from) work and “forgot” to take your nametag off. Clever!
If this is a new term for you, it is when you have changed your name and people call you by your old name. Deadnaming is a constant issue for transfolks, especially when you are coming out, but can happen with people who are being cruel continuing to use your birth name.
Your New Name
When you have chosen your new name and begin to use it, on the phone with us Mistresses or with family members, be strong, clear and assertive and use your name proudly!