Most sissies and others who feminize know the binge and purge cycle of buying and then ridding oneself of anything sissy or girlie. Why does this cycle exist and how do you stop it?
Binge and Purge Cycle – from High to Low
The pattern of buying and purging is so common, many articles and blog posts are written about it. For someone like me and the Mistresses I work with, it can be challenging because there is rarely a way to stop the down cycle from occurring, no matter how hard we try. Perhaps this blog post can help understand why the purges happen and even curb them or their frequency.
Sissies & Buying Sprees
When sissies or crossdressers are in a great place, they begin to buy. Binging… that time where you buy loads of panties, bras, stockings, skirts, tops, pajama sets, makeup, hair, shoes… the list is endless, right? Oh, and toys! We can’t forget the toys! The vibrators, anal plugs, prostate toys, nipple clamps… what else do you buy in your binge cycle?
Poring over sissy or CD reading material, spending hours looking at sissy websites and even trans and sissy porn feeds the great feelings of the binging high. Buying from specialty shops online and having the boxes sent to your work or your private post office box are another sign of the great feeling of the binge portion of the cycle.
The Binge High
During this phase, it isn’t unusual for you girls to not be completely careful about what you have, not hiding things well, and even going out places dressed when you typically would not do that. This is also the time when random sex tends to happen, when you are wanting to be seen as the woman you know you are and often only a man can fulfill that need. I ask you to please be careful during this time. Try not to let your clit guide you somewhere you might not want to be in a more thinking time.
The Binging Lull
Binging highs can last from a few days to a few weeks, then the mood settles into a more balanced state and the buying slows down. If there was reckless behavior going on, it tends to level out now. This part of the cycle can last for months or even years for some people. I know girls who have binged and purged over a dozen times in their lives, and others, two or three times. Each person’s lull is different.
Enjoy this phase because it brings the most peace. You aren’t overwhelmed worrying about bills from buying so much or starting to fret about where to hide everything and perhaps you should just vow to never buy anything again and dump it all.
Shameful Binge & Purge Cycle Begins
Gradually, it creeps over you. This feeling of dread, sadness, or shame. The binge stage tends to come on quickly, whereas this phase slowly takes over your thoughts and emotions. There are times when this part will come quickly and that is typically with a fast life change or issue at hand: a hospitalization, impending marriage, visitors coming. However, those are the exception.
Instead, the idea of being a sissy or crossdresser in this society seems too much weight to bear, each day, the load getting heavier and heavier. Some might be in this pre-purge stage for a few days and others for many months, but each describe it similarly; a feeling of wanting to stop the behavior, to be a “real man,” to be the person society wants them to be.
A hallmark of shame is feeling badly about yourself… wishing you were different… vowing to be different.
Purging
With the promise of never doing it again, the dumping begins. You came to the place where you were ready to dispose of your feminine side, tossing all of your clothes and toys into the trash bin. Whether you find a dumpster 20 miles away or you make a run to the city dump, your clothes and toys find their way into our landfills.
I beg of you, if you are going to purge, to consider donating your clothes to a charity that sells used clothing. You can drop them off anonymously in the middle of the night and no one will know. Thrift stores are a great place to get inexpensive clothes, jewelry, sometimes even wigs, so if you have common cycles of buying and purging your feminine things, consider this cheaper alternative to new clothes.
Purging Can Feel Freeing!
Once everything is gone, sissies and CDs often feel an enormous sense of relief. They no longer fear being discovered, realizing the burden they subconsciously carried with them all that time, worrying about that very issue. Sometimes, there are nagging thoughts of “Did I miss something?” but usually there is complete freedom from fear. For awhile. This exhilaration does not last forever, but is almost a mirror image of the glee in the binging stage. If it lasted, no one would begin buying again.
The Binge & Purge Cycle Begins Again
Because having a feminine side seems to be more biological than psychological, it can explain why, even though you promised you would never do it again, even bargaining with your Higher Power, you find yourself thinking about dressing again. As the urge grows, there can be a combination of “Not this again,” and a great deal of regret for tossing everything you loved a few months or years earlier. Trying to push the feelings down does not usually work, the needs overwhelm the “logic” of not dressing and you find yourself beginning to buy again.
Stopping the Cycle
It is not impossible to stop the cycle, but, I will be honest, stopping usually comes with the acceptance of who you are as your feminized self, not in the place of remaining “a man.” I have known sissies, crossdressers and transwomen for almost 40 years now and have seen this cycle repeat its loop, almost always only stopping when the person comes to a place of peace with the feminine part of themselves.
As cliché as it sounds, therapy can be a place to learn self-acceptance. I implore you to find someone who will believe you and in your feminine self, not someone who will ridicule and humiliate you for your needs and desires. Local LGBTQ Centers can offer names of therapists you can talk to, often with a sliding scale if you do not want to use your insurance.
Mostly, I want you to know you are not alone. I know it can feel incredibly lonely in these phases, especially the darker ones, but there are hundreds, if not thousands, of other girls doing the exact same thing at the exact same time.
Talk to Us
We Mistresses understand this cycle acutely. We talk to women through 3/4 of it, then we don’t hear from them for months before they return once again, confessing their purging and “failure” to not be able to stop. I really want you to know that being a feminine woman is NOT a failure at all! It is something to be celebrated, even if you can only do it in your mind. You ARE normal. You ARE beautiful just the way you are.
Feel my love, and remember, you are not alone.
Purging is out of question for me, especially with my friend picking out and wearing bras panties wigs makeup and lipstick with dresses leggings yoga pants blouses women’s turtleneck sweaters boots as well you and Ms Erika in ownership of me as your sissy lipstick lesbian girlfriend. How can I say no or resist all 3 of you? I can’t. And yes with few adjustments I really do look better as a girl. As you/ms Erika and my cabi friend said I do look better as a girl and not to worry what others think anymore as they won’t notice or care anymore if they do so what she said she will tell them she did this to me.
I am glad that isn’t an issue for you, carli… you are very lucky in that regard.
I have experienced the binge/purge cycle several times. Initially there were mixed feelings of relief and regret slowly morphing into just plain regret. My purging was always a spur of a moment decision following a close call of almost being ‘found out’. My financial situation allowed me to over-indulge my passion for buying lingerie so keeping it secret became a bigger problem as time went by. I am single so wife/significant other was not my problem. I have solved the purge issue by limiting myself to 3 bras and 2 sets of breast forms and this has worked for me for several years.
Now I get my shopping thrills by ‘window shopping’ online and this works for me.
Braboi
Ahhh, regret! I have to add that part… forgot it… thanks for reminding me! I will add that now.
Your solution is fantastic, boi… I am impressed you found something that works and yes, window shopping IS cathartic, I agree. You know what I do? I put everything I want in a cart (online and in the olden days, in a store) and then empty it a few days later. It helps me to leave it there so I can look at what I would get if I could.
Thanks so much for writing! It means a lot that you would.
“I vant to be alone” attributed to Greta Garbo pretty much sums up how we feel when we want our dress up time. There is no other world and our only foe is the clock on the wall….(or the unexpected key in the lock)
Wouldn’t it be “loverly” to spend day in day out swishing about in the most delicate of fabrics and admiring our feminine personae as we preen about in front of the full length mirror?
Well, if you’re like me, you have to plan your little frou frou frolics like the heist in Ocean’s
Eleven! No, it doesn’t take ten other guys to help me pull this off!?
One miscalculation and the jig is up!
So, obviously as a cross dresser (still not totally convinced I can be considered a genuine sissy) I have given serious thought to a “purge” and eradicate any “hard” (sorry Mistress Daphne..had to giggle, I was a kid about 100 years ago!) evidence of my love for silk, satin, ruffles and lace!
What a shame, I always think when I read of a purge! Totally understandable but it does break my heart to think all that hard work, courage and risk is erased when someone gets rid of their beautiful collection.
To date I’ve resisted the purge, (Yes, Mistress Daphne I do have a “retro” or “classic” collection)
Several bins of my gurly garb are safely stowed.
Now, my predicament. I have no opportunities to enjoy the fruits of my labour. My lifestyle offers me no chances (as in the past) for a full on “Dream Day!”
I seem to have become the “Curator” of little peg’s “Boutique of Dreams”
I have all the stuff…I don’t need anymore…but sometimes you see something you just gotta have…
Definitely, I would donate my treasures to a good cause, be it a thrift store as you mentioned.
( never…Ever…bought that frothy frock until “”after” prom season! Imagine the guilt!)
These days I bide my time comfortably striding through the day on my errands, in cute panties and cage…(oops) awaiting my next chance.
Mistress Daphne this was an incredible article with such great information and compassion and understanding. It was a pleasure to read this I could just feel how much you care about us. You know I add levity with my replies but I am being sincere when I say that this was a wonderful essay
Your images are lovely as always, peg-peg. And yes, if women’s clothes made it through the Pandemic Year, they are surely well-hidden by now. I am sure you are not alone in those roaming fantasies of beauty and wandering around en femme. It doesn’t look like those days are coming back anytime soon, so hang on to those dreams and fantasies! They are yours and I love that you share them here, with me.
Thankfully, due to modern technology a little device…(no, Mistress Daphne, not MY little device, I said “modern technology”) my phone and a flash card have enabled me to capture some lovely images of me in my finery that I can revisit at my leisure.
Summer ends a bit earlier up here which does offer that wonderfully loooong season of underdressing…the cutest blouses and camis under a hoodie offer a warm embrace on a nippy Autumn afternoon. Not everyone need know, isn’t that right Mistress Daphne?☺️
That is so true, but oh, how I LOVE that you share with us!
peg, you are adorable. In or OUT of a cami.
Thank you Mistress Daphne. Over the last couple years I’ve shared some naughty secrets with you and several of the wonderful LDW Mistresses.❤️ It is exhilarating to allow a glimpse…(I believe I’ve sent you two glimpses!??) of the little peccadilloes in my life.
Let’s face it…I certainly can’t describe that great deal I got on the yellow chiffon cocktail frock at the dinner table, or, gasp..the locker room! We need you. You offer us that security we must have as we confess our innermost secrets! Of course, I am pantied and in my chastity cage all day. Now you know…you probably did already! (the mailman, the meter reader, the cashier haven’t a clue!) Who could ask for more?
The struggle is real. Great post. I won’t say any more.
I hear you, girlfriend. I hear you.
<3
I just put women’s clothing in a yard sale that doesn’t fit in a yard sale and sold them asa dude no questions asked ? ? LOLMY SECRET
Great idea!
Seriously somtimes i really love being a man
Hi Ms Daphne, Thanks so much for this post, I can totally relate and have not figured a way to stop the cycle yet, for years I have struggled with this guilt trip its very frustrating it has been mostly with the dildos etc my guilty pleasure !! hehe but the last few years its been also with the dressing up in private which i also totally love !! Ive tried everything to hide my shame because I dont want to be exposed in the end to family mostly !! I am single but live with a close relative couple !! Anyway love the post if you figure anything out let me know lol and love the comment from Beautiful Cindy we need to get her back on the comment and blog post Wagon !! miss seeing her comments !! xoxos love you all !!
Sweet viola,
I wish I had THE answer. I would be a trillionaire. Knowing it is a shame anchor is the best start to understanding and curbing the urge. I have found, for many, keeping everything OFF-site… in a storage unit, can help tremendously. That way, even if you have a heart attack or a car accident, no one will find your stash in your house. Consider that idea and see if it fits (so to speak).
And yes, Cindy needs to share more! I agree!
Love to you, viola… really.
Thanks Ms Daphne, I like the ideas of offsite, ive done kinda that couple times, a detached garage, but eventually people would find it n get a big surprise lol
If the people who open it are the people who rent the storage spaces, they just sell it. They never Never NEVER try to find who owns it. I promise. Have personal knowledge of that one!
Oh Ms Daphne,
Never never I have I got rid of any of my lingerie, and never will, twirlllll twirlllll twirlllll
You do know how lucky you are that you have not ever HAD to, right, belinda? Very lucky indeed.
Good to see you, girl!
So after almost a year of no sissy fem feelings . The purge urge came on. I purged my phone’s of all sissy including old phones . Even access to a great sissy meet web site where I had found a lot women wanting sissies this I totally regret as I threw away access to account. Even discarded half of my sex toys. My fem urges usually are in full blast in May . This year nothing happened still male life ruled. Convinced sissy wasn’t coming back I threw out my sex toys and some magazines. Was contemplating on total purge Then wham reality hit I am a tiny penis sissy weak with desire for all things sissy but covid is a problem (glad you are feeling better????) But public access to sissy world is harmed support group on hold glory hole plugged up shut down. Any hookups or going out seams like to be too risky despite tremendous sissy urges so it is all dressed up and no place to go except porn sites and window shopping at gay beach
Good luck and STOP PURGING!