Have you ever thought about being in a Female-Led Relationship (FLR)?
I have a client who is in one and it is so powerful, I thought it would be great to share her experience with you. For those of you wishing for a FLR (or Female-Led Marriage – FLM), meet Sarah. Her ideas might really be eye-opening for you as well as offering ways you can gradually, or quickly, introduce having a FLR to your partner.
My questions to Sarah are in BOLD and her answers are in ITALICS.
This from Sarah:
Dear Mistress Daphne,
First of all, I am honored that you approached me to share my experiences of being in a female-led marriage. Becoming a wife to my husband, Emily, is the best decision I ever made, and my husband has graciously granted me permission to answer your questions. I hope this proves helpful.
Questions about FLR
How would someone begin to shift a marriage into a FLR?
A man can ask, but it’s really up to the woman. If she is not ready or willing to assume the mantle of leadership and decision-making, then the relationship will fail. A female-led marriage is not a democracy; it is a benign dictatorship. Emily one day announced she would be in control and laid out her ground rules. I could accept or leave. I was terrified, but part of me was also excited. I started doing all the household chores, gave her control of our finances. It was hard and humbling, but as time went on, it started to feel so natural.
What are the benefits to the man in a FLR?
The same as a woman would have expected in an old-fashioned marriage – having someone there to protect them, provide for them, make the big decisions and to love them. Emily sets an incredible example for me and our three daughters as the head of our family, and I am proud of the support role I get to provide. I have become very devout to my vow to love, honor and obey her.
Why would a woman want this kind of marriage?
Because they deserve it! As women gain more prominence in the workforce, politics, etc., why is it written in stone that men must lead? Our family is much better off with Emily setting the rules, making the decisions and handling our finances. Her career thrives because I can alleviate the burden of housework, cooking, errands, etc. Her success is my success, and I am so proud to play my small role in my husband’s incredible accomplishments.
Are men open to this type of marriage? Do men need to be submissive to do this? Can a woman make a man submissive?
Some men are open to this, some are not, and some are but don’t realize it. Yes, the man must be submissive, because this only works if he is willing to cede all authority to his partner. A woman can’t make a man submissive, but she can help him break out of his comfort zone, if he is willing. You can test each other. A woman can see how a man would react to her giving him flowers, holding open the door, maybe ordering for them at a restaurant. A man can see how the woman would react if at a point of a big decision, like a purchase, he turns to her in front of the salesperson and says, “What do you think we should do, dear?” Or maybe in front of a waiter say, “Honey, what would you have me order?”
These are amazing thoughts and ideas, dear Sarah! I look forward to continuing our discussion in the next couple of weeks.
Readers, is this something that interests you? Would you love to be in a FLR, too? How does it make you feel to hear Sarah tell her story with her husband Emily?
This is great!