I have been hearing reports of Dommes OUTSIDE LDW who are using guys and gals and really creating havoc in their lives. I want to give you a head’s up on when you are being used and abused by a Domme… or PERSON, for that matter.
RED FLAGS
- If you are being asked for access to your account information… bank, credit cards, etc.
- If you are paying their rent, car payments, credit card bills, buying their groceries
- If you are asked for “tributes” but get nothing in return, not even emails or texts
- If they tell you you are lucky to have them because no one else would want you
- If they isolate you from your friends and family
- If they tell you how terrible your friends and family are and you know that is not true
- If they confuse you with the things they say… one day making sense, another not making any sense at all
- If they belittle you or tell you you are stupid or ignorant of real life
- If they tell you things are true that you know are not… BELIEVE YOURSELF! They are fucking with your mind. (Gaslighting)
- If they threaten to tell your spouse, boss, friends, kids about your relationship
These are the major ways a long-distance Domme can really take advantage of a person.
If This is You
Do NOT be embarrassed or ashamed that you fell for this person. They are skilled and manipulative and have a long history of using people you would never suspect could be taken advantage of. If you are unsure, ask me or any LDW Mistress that you trust: Is this abusive?
Also, for those in real life relationships, here is a more indepth list of abusive behaviors.
42 Domestic Violence Warning Signs
If you need help, people are there! I can help guide you to resources for assistance… as can other LDW Mistresses.
You are not alone.
I totally agree with you!!! It’s all about safety and making sure it’s legal with no drugs and being on the same page with both parties agreeing on interests.
Paulina,
You are absolutely right. Complete consensuality!
In my experience, so-called dominant men or women are often just narcissists. I say “so-called dominant” because a true dominant doesn’t want to truly hurt another person in a way that person doesn’t consider pleasurable. If it feels bad, talk to your dominant. If he or she doesn’t listen or makes you feel bad about expressing yourself, beware!
Oh, Ms. Piper! You are right! I didn’t even think of Narcissists! Thank you for pointing that out.
I can’t believe I missed that.
hugs
This blog is SO needed and I’m glad you wrote it. There are some ‘dommes’ out there that give the rest of us a bad name! Great post, Miss Daphne. Readers beware indeed!
Thank you, Ms. Amber!
kissyface
I appreciate you writing this. It always feels to me like the dominant woman has so much power over me. I need that of course. But I have to be careful.
You are right to be watchful.
But I understand the desire to worship. Completely.