I have been hearing reports of Dommes OUTSIDE LDW who are using guys and gals and really creating havoc in their lives. I want to give you a head’s up on when you are being used and abused by a Domme… or PERSON, for that matter.


  • If you are being asked for access to your account information… bank, credit cards, etc.
  • If you are paying their rent, car payments, credit card bills, buying their groceries
  • If you are asked for “tributes” but get nothing in return, not even emails or texts
  • If they tell you you are lucky to have them because no one else would want you
  • If they isolate you from your friends and family
  • If they tell you how terrible your friends and family are and you know that is not true
  • If they confuse you with the things they say… one day making sense, another not making any sense at all
  • If they belittle you or tell you you are stupid or ignorant of real life
  • If they tell you things are true that you know are not… BELIEVE YOURSELF! They are fucking with your mind. (Gaslighting)
  • If they threaten to tell your spouse, boss, friends, kids about your relationship

These are the major ways a long-distance Domme can really take advantage of a person.

If This is You

Do NOT be embarrassed or ashamed that you fell for this person. They are skilled and manipulative and have a long history of using people you would never suspect could be taken advantage of. If you are unsure, ask me or any LDW Mistress that you trust: Is this abusive?

Also, for those in real life relationships, here is a more indepth list of abusive behaviors.

42 Domestic Violence Warning Signs

If you need help, people are there! I can help guide you to resources for assistance… as can other LDW Mistresses.

You are not alone.