Yesterday, I got a message, from a first time visitor, in my Yahoo IM, that said something like this:
” I am a very submissive sissy that likes pain and lots of humiliation and I am trying to get the most humiliating way to eat my cumm”
Yeah, something almost exactly verbatim like that.
I demonstrated how to say hello to someone properly: “Well, hello to you, too! How are you doing today?”
And this person messaged me back the same statement above… with a “Hi” in front of it.
I just snortylaughed and thought: “This just HAS to be a post about how to approach a Domme!”
NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO THIS DOMME’S HEART OR CROP!
We Dommes are human beings. You are, supposedly, coming to us to ask for a relationship… or at least, some sort of interaction, even if it is only as long as a session.
Say hello if you are talking to us in chat. If you’re emailing us, talk to us! Don’t just jump into: “I need a dom. I’m submissive.” A significant number of us want a phone call or text session first to establish a connection. These are all awesome ways to begin the process of laying down a foundation for a partnership between two (or more!) people.
Blogs
Most of us have blogs and reading about who we are on our blogs is a great way to pick up the style of Domme you are looking at. Finding the right Domme is like fitting a key into a lock (and she will surely do that some day!)… some are more humiliating, others are fantastically cruel while others, like myself, are more sensuous. Find someone that resonates with your style or kink; then approach her.
When you have initiated contact with the Domme you’ve learned a little about, listen to her… answer her questions fully and truthfully. Disclose yourself. Be brave. If she asks for a writing assignment afterwards, obey her!
On some occasions, it was immediately clear I wasn’t going to be a good fit with someone and when I said I would refer him out, he would begin a bargaining session with me. “Well, maybe if you did this or that or maybe just tried this,” he would say.
I don’t bargain with subs. I doubt many of us do. If we tell you something, then don’t try to Top from the bottom.
Enjoy the Process
Being in a Domme/sub relationship should be symbiotically pleasant and productive. We are in this together. If one of us isn’t having fun, some part of the dynamic probably needs to shift. Even if your face is in the carpet and you have a dick in your ass, you should be having a good time. Communication is the key.
And it starts at the beginning, when you first figure out how to approach a Domme.
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Great post!! I just told you that I want to have you dress me as a girl as that’s what turns me on and to take me with on shopping trips. I’m weak and shy when it comes to women as just seeing them wear leggings with boots and yoga pants with sports bras in makes me weak and submissive that I want to wear that as a regular guy I can’t unless they want to take control of me like what Ms has done since she caught me wearing her bra/panty set with lipstick and heels. Now she has me wearing them all the time with women’s clothes and threw away my clothes and with every lipstick kiss there hormones in there I have girlish body and d cup breasts.
I really want to find real women to have me wear bras/panties/leggings/yoga pants/boots all the time or at very least at home. I’m to scared and shy to ask or at very least compliment them wearing that. What should do?
The way you approached me was perfect, Petey! You are awesome. I appreciated it so very much, too.
We will continue our dialogue!
Daphne
Mistress Daphne,
What an delight always to hear from you & see your comments on blogs. I do adore this blog especially as So MANY people don’t approach in the right manner.
I can say, Mistress Daphne has Always been amazingly brilliant in looking after me and needs, I Always show you my respect and courteous for you.
I want to please as much as you want to please. May our wonderful dialogue continue.
Sissy Krissy.
XX