Asking the Question

After spending 15 years as a submissive to my (former) partner, I am a Domme. I will not submit to anyone for a long time. I do bottom, but don’t submit.

However, because of my experience, I get asked, “Am I submissive?” quite often. It seems like one would know immediately if they were submissive, but not necessarily. Especially those folks who are Alpha Males at work… are they able to successfully submit to someone else? Absolutely.

First Things First

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What does it mean to submit? For some, it means giving a Domme complete devotion and servitude… serving her as  caretaker, housekeeper, bootlicker and do-whatever-he-is-asked-to-do-er. For others, especially online or phone subs, it means doing what the Mistress tells you at the moment. You see the large gap between the two ideas? Where do you fall in the spectrum of submission?

Service to Others

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Are you able to serve someone in your life already? Do you have a wife or partner or even friend you could serve, even in some small way? Perhaps you can take over a few of the chores of the house or serve him or her breakfast in bed on the weekend. Maybe you could do the laundry or mop the floors. Pick something your partner hates to do (I hate doing the floors!) and pick up that chore. Even if you don’t have an overt understanding that you are in service to him/her, you can satisfy some of your need to serve.

Is service always cleaning? Absolutely not. There are ways to serve by paying a bill, giving a foot rub, offering a massage without the expectation of sex afterwards or even just kissing them good-bye in the morning.

Are You a Submissive?

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Only you can answer that question. Others can help you figure it out, that’s for sure. Don’t hesitate to ask us to examine your personality and life for signs of submission.

So, the next time you ask, “Am I Submissive?”, I hope you have a better grasp on what that might mean for you.