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Religion & Kinks: When Morals Collide (Part 1)

Not everyone calls for an orgasm. In fact, one of the most common non-sex calls is when the person feels pulled between their religion and their kinks or fetishes.

NOTE: This will not be religion-bashing, nor blasphemous,

but a very real dilemma many, many folks work with and through.

Religion’s Pull

Religion has an enormous hand on our American (and other English-speaking countries’) lives. From the time we are young, most of us are taught that right and wrong comes from a religious book of one kind or another.

  • Don’t hurt people
  • Don’t steal
  • Don’t cheat on your spouse

But what if the list of DO NOT DOs don’t come from a religious book, but instead, come from our culture?

  • Don’t touch yourself
  • Don’t try on sister’s panties
  • Don’t wear mommy’s shoes

And the list goes on.

What happens when we have these kinks despite religion’s or society’s dictations?

Growing Needs

Any of us with kinks and fetishes knows how they often start slow and with a low hum in our lives, but can build very quickly to an intense buzz that feeds our passions and desires.

When we are young, we are not yet aware of the Binge-Purge Cycle of kinks and fetishes:

  • Buying panties/Throwing them all away
  • Buying an array of sex toys/Throwing them all away
  • Finding a way to have kinky sex/Vowing to never do that again
  • Watching the kind of porn that feeds your kink or fetish/Vowing to never watch porn again

Sadly, we learn about the cycle all too soon.


What drives the cycle is shame. Shame for having these desires. Shame for the needs. Shame for not being able to control the urges.

Shameful feelings do not come from inside us; they come from without. Parents, religious doctrines, societal mores all have a hand in smashing our hearts with shame.

But what if they are wrong?

What if we were in a different culture that embraced our kinks and fetishes? What if we knew we were not alone with them?

The truth is, we are NOT alone in this! We have each other. Even if we are not next door to each other (and we might be!), you have friends here and all over the Internet who understand your feelings and desires.

Part 2 (almost completed):

I share, as an old soul, ways I have learned to make difficult decisions, including ones of a “moral” nature. What does one do when pulled between 2 needs and desires? How do you make decisions between religion and kinkiness?

I have learned much in my life; I want to share some of my experience with you when it comes to making these decisions.

7 comments to Religion & Kinks: When Morals Collide (Part 1)

  • Ms Daphne, thank you for taking on the topic of religion and kink. No doubt a loaded topic for many LDW pets. When it comes to religious doctrine, regardless of which religion one identifies with, the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do to you, is our north star…the star which never moves in the sky and allows us to navigate through the seas of life in a moral and satisfying way.

  • Oh Ms. Daphne!

    I really LOVE this topic on religion. I speak with so many people full of guilt because their religion says the way they feel sexually is simply wrong. I think what you write makes so much sense!

    And I agree with Ms. Cindy! I think we all should be good people, and enjoy our kink!

    • I am working hard on Part 2! I hope to get it out really soon (today?).

      I know you understand, like most Mistresses do, how much pain guilt and shame can cause.

      Let’s get rid of it all!

  • As someone who has a real problem with how people of faith have treated the LGBT community and asking to keep this as a non religious bashing piece I’m going to keep my snarky comments to myself. This is an interesting yet emotionally strong topic for a lot of people out there.

  • Tea Bag

    “Shameful feelings do not come from inside us”

    But if I don’t live up to my own (moral/non-moral) standards, why would I not feel shame?

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